Homeschoolers can be extremely hard on homeschooling dads.
We not only expect them to work 8-12 hours per day to finance our efforts, we want them to come home from work and establish a homestead, teach a few subjects, lead family devotions, discipline the children, and even do a little cooking and housework.
I don't believe there's anything wrong with having dads do those things. My husband does some of them. However, there is a problem when we read articles or attend seminars about what an "ideal" homeschool dad should do, and then become resentful of our husbands, or worse - attempt to force them into a role that doesn't fit. We wouldn't appreciate having our husbands hold us to someone else's standards.
Our husbands have honored us by trusting us with their children's education, and we in turn should honor them.
Here are 10 Ways to Honor Homeschooling Dads:
Understand your husband. What are his likes and dislikes? What are his priorities for you and the kids? Ask your husband about his preferences, and try to manage your home in a manner that pleases him.
Address your husband's concerns, and take care not to belittle them. My husband once asked our son to begin writing his name on his schoolwork. I complained that it was unnecessary, but eventually realized that my husband wanted our son to learn to be neat and pay attention to detail. Our husband's ideas may seem trivial to us, but they often have merit.
Give him a chance to get involved without demanding that he do things your way. However don't try to persuade him to help if he is not interested. Not every homeschooling dad will want to teach formal lessons.
Respect your husband and teach your kids to respect him as well. Don't argue with your husband in front of your children. Encourage them to admire him.
Don't let your husband return to an unruly home night after night. Discipline your children. Work together as a family to create an atmosphere of joy and peace.
Give your husband time to unwind before asking him to address matters you can't handle. Let him use the restroom, change clothes and sit down before discussing problems.
Take care of your home according to your husband's standards. Teach your children to clean up after themselves and help you with chores. If a messy house does not bother your husband, consider yourself blessed!
Be thankful! If your husband does nothing but work all day and return home every night, you have it better than some women. Every marriage has room for improvement, but we can choose to focus on the good. Make a list of things you are thankful for and refer to it often.
Make time for your husband. You don't have to arrange a fancy date night and hire a baby sitter. Stop sweeping and greet your husband with a smile when he comes home from work. Institute a quiet time during the day so you can be well rested when he gets home. Make popcorn and watch movies after the kids are in bed. If all your husband wants to do is watch basketball, grab a magazine and sit with him.
Be the woman your husband married. Don't mold yourself into the ideal homeschooling mom, be your husband's ideal. Make your appearance, clothes, style, and personality appeal to your husband - not other homeschoolers. Your husband married you for a reason!
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